Everybody's Fool
by Hopeful Forgotten
Summary: My best friend doesn’t know I’m not a girl, and he’s telling me that he loves me. I shouldn’t be so happy about that. I shouldn’t like the way his lips feel on mine. SasuNaru.


**Summary:** My best friend doesn't know I'm not a girl, and he's telling me that he loves me. I shouldn't be so happy about that. I shouldn't like the way his lips feel on mine. SasuNaru.

**R&R:** That'd be… um… nice? Okay, yeah, yeah, I'd love you. I'm a greedy little monster.

**Everybody's Fool**

I'm ready. I have the skirt, reaching just above my knees. I have the blouse, loose and comfortable. Doing an experimental twirl, I reach my hands up and run my fingers through my long blonde hair which I have up in pigtails -- sure, most of it was extensions. But it's still _pretty_. I fix the blue ribbons holding my hair up and then grimace into the mirror.

With the outfit, the extensions, and the makeup, I almost look like a real girl.

And, of course, you can't forget the fake boobs.

"Wow… Um… Naruto?" Giggling, like a _girl_ -- shudders rock my body -- I turn around to a shocked Neji. Blood is rushing to his face, making even his neck turn a brilliant red, clouding his face to his forehead. He shakes his head. "Is that, err… You?"

"Neji, don't forget, it's Narimi-chan now." I sigh but can't help smirking at his expression before waving a hand in front of his face gleefully. "What? I can't be _that_ hot!"

"Err…!" I wonder if Neji has some medical condition that makes him have seizures. I hope not 'cause I don't know how to do CPR. Do you even have to do CPR with seizures? I dunno.

"Neji! What the hell do you want?" My voice, which had been pitched to a trained falsetto quickly became deeper in my annoyance, almost returning to normal if my barely-held-onto control hadn't stopped it.

"K-Kakashi wants you." He stammers, stumbling out of the way.

Ah yes. The Warthog. Or make that The Evil, Devil Spawned, Perverted, White-haired-Michael-Jackson-man Warthog.

I growl menacingly and stalk past Neji, muttering under my breath about something like, "I will never forgive that faggot."

"Yes?" I snarl through bared teeth. The addressed turns towards me, his eyes crinkling in a sadistic grin.

"Oh come on _Nari-chan_. I know you can do better than that." I can hear him chuckling under his mask. I sigh and then light my face up with a blinding smile, giggling. I press my right hand against my chest, feeling the strange softness there that I haven't become accustomed to yet, my left tugging at my skirt.

"Hey, Kaka-sensei." I said, my voice rising in pitch again until I sounded like a girl. My eyes twitched at the sound, ruining the act, but Kakashi ignored it.

"Ah, much better. I do believe you'll pass as a girl, if not a very weird one." Kakashi comments, smiling. "So what do you plan to do about… You know… Little _Miss_ Naruto Jr.?" He smirked.

"Wear baggy pants, hope to keep him… her… uh…" My eyes increase their twitching, "Whatever, okay? Keep my penis under control."

"Whatever," He agrees shrugging. "If he goes pop and someone sees, it's not my fault."

"Hey, I'll just say I got surgery or something." I smirk at my brilliant idea. Kakashi stares for a minute and then turns to Neji.

"Did his parents drop him on his head a lot?" He asks and Neji chuckles

"Well what the hell do I do, then?" I shouted, dropping the act. He glared at me for the change.

"I don't know. Improve."

--

And that's how I ended up going to Konoha's most treasured -- otherwise known as the most pricy -- boarding high school dressed up like some girl.

I'm already going to a well-known, very pricy school. For acting. So I get the famous, amazing, star-producing teacher named Kakashi, who seems to have a tumor in his brain.

In the second week of the first semester he decided to kick us out by our asses, into the cold, hard world, as our most opposite parts. Since I'm the most testosterone filled one in our class -- the rest are either gay guys like Neji, with their beautiful lisps and sashaying hips, or guys that just like to paint their nails black because they think it matches the worlds evil and is _sexy_ or something -- I get to be the girl. Of course.

I walk into the main building, past the overly-large gardens and the looming fountain of a mermaid, water flowing from her hands, her head tilted to the heavens.

Tsunade is well… let's leave it at shocking. I sadly tear my eyes from her generous breasts, shifting uncomfortably in my school uniform. She looks far too young -- and far too sexy -- to be some boring principle, even if the school she works at was known world wide.

"Narimi Uzumaki?" Ms -- I hope -- Sexy Beast asks, her voice low and smoky. Kakashi nods beside me. Her plump, pink lips turn up in a smirk and she motions us to follow her, her heels tapping against the marble floor as she walks.

"I'll give you fifty bucks if you can guess how old she is," Kakashi whispers beside me and I glance up at him to see the mischievous look in his eyes. I shrug.

"Um, twenty-five?" I guess quickly, looking at her swaying hips. I hear Kakashi chuckle.

"Try more of fifty-four." He says and I gasp and tear my dirtied eyes away from her sashaying figure. "The amazing works of plastic surgery."

"Oh god." I feel sick.

"You're on the first floor. I hope you don't mind; it doesn't have as good a view as higher up, but then again, you won't have to walk as long." How can her voice sound so young? I clutch my stomach in a vain attempt to hold my recent lunch in. I shrug again. She stopped at the third door down the long hallway and knocked.

I think there was something in the air of the school -- a hormonal drug or something. 'Cause, ya know, first I'm attracted to some fifty-something old hag and then the next thing I know, I'm staring at this guy who only has this tiny little towel on and all I can think is, _"SEXY!" _

"Excuse me?" God, his voice is perfectly husky. What the hell?

Wait. Did I just say that whole sexy shit out loud?

I just stare at him trying to think of some way to pass of my sexy spurt off as some joke but coming up with nothing. He arches a perfectly shaped eyebrow -- do you think he plucks them? I do. -- and turns to Tsunade.

"Hey, bitch," He greets Tsunade, his left eye twitching, and I can basically see the naughty images rolling around in that dirty little mind of his.

"Bastard," I'm on your side hag-slut! "This is your new roommate" Oh.

"Co-ed?" I demand in a whisper, tugging on Kakashi's sleeve. He barely glances at me before turning his attention back to the little scene playing before us.

"Sweetie," Tsunade says, pulling me forward by my hand. "This is Sasuke Uchiha, your roommate. Sasuke, Narimi Uzumaki."

**--**

**Hopeful: **Ah, my poor, poor, little, innocent Naru-chan.

**Naru-Naru: **Shush. Sasuke's hott in a towel. *fantasizes*

**Sasu-chan: **Um… *glances at Naruto* Is he going to stalk me if I leave?

**Hopeful: **Don't leave yet Sasu! You still have a job to do!

**Sasu-chan: **Right *clears throat* Please review. *glances at Hopeful* Happy?

**Hopeful: **Only if it works.


End file.
